Pressure
Some days it all just feels like too much, doesn’t it? Just to be conscious and aware of what’s going on in the world can be an immense burden, leading to anxiety and stress. Maybe that’s why the song “Surface Pressure” from Disney’s Encanto is a Billboard hit right now.
Luisa, the eldest daughter, is known for her strength. But her song shows that along with her physical strength, she feels immense pressure to use that strength perfectly all the time, to shoulder all of the family’s burdens, to do everything.
How many of us can relate to that? The silent weight of expectations that we have internalized. The anxiety underlying everything we do. The feeling that each additional burden, no matter how small, might be the proverbial last straw.
The pressure has increased over the past two years of the pandemic, but it started before. We place immense value on productivity and performance. And that was a crushing expectation before we had ever heard of COVID-19. We can see that this value has not really been re-evaluated on a large scale despite the pandemic. We call “front-line” workers “heroes,” but we do nothing to try to relieve their burdens. So many jobs, especially educators and healthcare workers were handed a massive new weight on top of their already heavy load. We called them heroes, but we never acknowledged that the situations are really impossible. We never truly adjusted our expectations for productivity and performance.
What are we trying to prove? Who set up these ridiculous expectations? I don’t think we can point to just one person. I think it’s a systemic issue.
But what do we do with it? We resist. How? By choosing rest, joy, disconnection, and pleasure. Choosing to believe that our personal well-being is worth more than fulfilling someone else’s expectations. I believe we are seeing people do this with the Great Resignation. The systems have not changed to accommodate people’s needs (not wants, needs), so people are saying “I will not continue to work under these conditions.”
Resistance will look different for everyone depending on their position in life, their culture, their context. I am not suggesting everyone quit their jobs, necessarily. But the system is never going to say, “Wow, I think you should rest. I think you should take some time off.” If we don’t take breaks, we will break. If we do not re-examine our relationship to productivity and performance, that system will literally kill us.
Where can you take a small or large break soon, today even, for some reflection? To look at the weight you’ve been carrying and start to consider what you can put down before it takes you down. You are too valuable, too important, too precious, to be sacrificed on the altar of expectations and productivity. We need you free to be yourself.
If you are interested in a coaching relationship to help with this process, I’d be happy to talk more with you about that. Whether you engage in coaching or not, I’m rooting for you.
