Pain is Part of Growth
Josh’s handwriting: “It hurts when the seed cracks open to sprout, but it’s that or rot.”
It hurts when the seed cracks open to sprout. But it’s that, or rot.
I wish there was a pain-free road to growth. I wish growth did not hurt. But it does. In my own life, the process of growing has so often ranged from uncomfortable to excruciating. This may be why many people prefer to stay where they are.
But we have two choices: grow, or die.
That may sound extreme, but I think it is true. As living beings, we are constantly growing at a cellular level. Replicating new cells throughout our bodies to replace ones that do their good work and wear out. Nature provides billions of examples of this truth.
It is true in our bodies. It is true in our minds. I remember a parenting book that pointed out how important it is to allow our children to experience frustration as they seek to learn a new skill, because frustration is part of the learning and growing process. A child will fall down sooo many times as they are learning to walk.
These models teach us a very important truth. Pain is part of growth. Pain is part of learning. It hurts to let go of a previous and less complete concept of something, especially when we have held so tightly to it for a particular season of our lives. We are often terrified of the unknown of what it will feel like to let go.
This is why we can often be resistant to a new idea when it challenges something we have held onto tightly. Underneath that resistance is fear of the pain of letting go of what we thought we knew. Even holding less tightly can be scary.
In order to grow, in order to learn, in order to continue on this journey of life and live into our full potential, we have to accept the pain that comes as part of the process. I am not suggesting we have to enjoy the pain, but we have to be willing to go through it in order to get to the beautiful new space on the other side.
This is where a coach or consultant can be helpful. In coaching and consulting relationships, my job is to help people walk through the painful parts. When we run into the painful seasons we can be attacked by self-doubt “Why did I think this would work?” “Who am I kidding?” “If this were the right path it wouldn’t be this hard!” It’s my privilege to be a co-laborer in those moments reminding you of your own strength, letting you know that this a normal part of the process, and reminding you of why you started this journey.
Pain is an integral part of the process of growth and learning. But you do not have to face that pain alone. Whether I am your coach or consultant or you find someone else, when you lean on the support of others I believe you will make it to the beauty on the other side.
